The Transparent Closet
by iliketurtles02
Summary: Cosmo and Wanda are happily married, but Cosmo has a secret. Which Wanda already knew about of course. gay/sort of bisexual Cosmo. Mentions of sexuality but nothing explicit.


Cosmo and Wanda had a happy marriage, and that was a fact.

And yet, Cosmo kept his little secret that was fooling nobody. Nobody except possibly himself.

Wanda had been with Cosmo for millenia; standing by him through thick and thin. If anyone thought she was blind to it, then they must assume she's as dumb as her husband. But Wanda wasn't naiive. She certainly noticed the way Cosmo would glance at male fairies. The way he sometimes stared at Jorgon's biceps. He certainly hated Juandissimo for his lusting over her, but while Wanda could see how jealous she was she knew it wasn't all about her. _Trust me honey,_ she thought to herself. _You wouldn't want to be in my position here either._

Of course, some fairies did believe him when he pretended to lust over hot females in public. He played up his attraction to them, acting like his marriage to Wanda was a ball and chain keeping him from a life of prominiscuity and binkini babes. That was a laugh. Cosmo was shy and awkward and stupid when he was dating, and a few thousand years out of the game wouldn't have made him better.

And in front of his godkid, Cosmo definitely felt the need to prove his heterosexuality. Maybe he wanted Timmy to see him as a good, _straight_ father figure, or maybe it's how his own father used to act up around him. Either way, Wanda felt his constant flirting and pining for other girls in front of Timmy was a worse role model than him being attracted to guys. Either way, Timmy didn't seem to notice or care.

Phillip was _not_ a girl nickel.

And yet, in her heart, she also knew that her husband loved her -not just as a friend and a companion, but as a lover and a wife. He didn't feel the need to constantly prove his love like in the earlier years of their marriage, but whenever he saw her upset or knew he screwed up, he would try to make it up to her. They had a godchild, they had a fairy child; she knew he would never think to leave his life and his family.

But still, she approached him one night. Something had been itching at her and she needed to get it out.

"Cosmo, was there anyone else you dated before me?"

Cosmo barely flinched, and had his answer ready. "Well sure, you remember Becky and Nancy and-"

"I mean, ones who aren't... girls."

Cosmo's eyes flashed in panic. "Uh... what? No I didn't date any... pineapples."

"Boy fairies." Wanda said, some impatience showing through.

Cosmo frowned. He looked like a little kid that got punished. "No... heh. That's stupid."

"It's not stupid. Just tell me!"

"I didn't!"

"I'm not going to be mad."

"Yeah you would. That's wrong."

"No it's not."

"I'm your husband!"

"Well, it was a long time ago, and..." Wanda held his hand. "I know you love me, I'm not worried about that, I just want to know if anything ever happened with you and a guy."

"N...No." Cosmo winced. "Nothing."

"So just crushes that never went anywhere?"

"Ehhh" Cosmo trailed off. He didn't have the right words, but Wanda could guess that she was right.

"I'm not mad..." Wanda kissed him. "It's fine. Now quit pining for other ladies in front of Timmy."

"Uh alright."

Wanda wasn't convinced. "And stop flirting with them. And my sister. She knows you don't really like her too."

"Aw, but-but Timmy-"

"Timmy's fine. He's straight, and even if he wasn't that would still be okay."

"But-"

"No." She turned off the light and laid down. "Just stop pretending Cosmo. I _know_."

After that conversation, Cosmo genuinely stopped flirting with other girl fairies. Not that he started flirting with boy fairies -that wasn't what he wanted either. His sexuality wasn't a big deal anymore -and it never was for Wanda. In a selfish sort of way, she liked being the only woman he's ever been attracted to. It wasn't half bad.

Of course, the point was to get Cosmo to stop pretending altogether. So sometimes, in Fairy World or at the beach, Wanda would point out a particularly handsome guy. Cosmo would notice, and they would share a grin or even whisper about him a little bit. And it was nice, because it was honest. Because he wasn't just her husband; he was her best friend for thousands of years. They didn't need secrets.

* * *

A/N: In case you couldn't tell, Cosmo is gay except for his attraction to Wanda. Just wanted to make that clear.


End file.
